I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
