Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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