yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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