It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
