you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize