omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
