Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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