these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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