32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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