my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize