just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
