make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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