now i know why i became what i already was.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
