he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
