It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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