Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
