I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
