Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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