The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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