hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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