he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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