Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
