carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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