if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
