When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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