Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
