ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
