the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Mom said you looked used
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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