oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
