There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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