my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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