I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
