How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
