I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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