do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
