paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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