Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
