i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
