Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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