Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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