got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
