***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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