I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
