More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
