I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
