Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
