My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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