Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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