Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
