hell yes lets make some ravioli
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
