cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize