Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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