Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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