Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
