Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
