so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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