what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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