This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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