dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
