It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
