ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
