in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
