if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
