We're facebook friends in real life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
